The Parts I Remember
by Rachel Wilder
Summary: A sequel to my story, "It Is What It Is", this story begins about a year after Rayna and Deacon's accident. They have largely recovered and returned to the life they knew, but now face a challenge they didn't expect. Based on spoilers for the second half of season 3.
1. Prologue

"You ready for this?"

Rayna Jaymes looked over and smiled at Deacon Claybourne. He was holding his guitar, the strap with his name that she'd given him so many years ago was against his chest. Yes, she was more than ready.

"Absolutely," she replied.

"Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the stage for the first time since we all saw her here last year at the Country Music Awards, singing the _This Time_, the first single off her new album, _The Parts I Remember_...the queen of country music...Miss Rayna Jaymes."

Rayna smiled at Deacon again and lead him onto stage, the microphone in her hand.

_Well, you know how it goes_

_When you meet somebody_

_That you like somebody_

_Wanna hold somebody_

As the music took over and Deacon began to hit his stride, it started to feel like maybe the last year had never happened. There were still parts that she remembered and other parts she didn't, but after months of recovery for Deacon's hand and a lot of cognitive therapy to deal with her memory loss, they were finally back on stage, together, singing a song they had written together.

She watched as his fingers slipped across the strings in a way they had both feared would never be possible again. It had felt like years, not months as she worked on her memory, trying to get to a point where she not only knew the words to the songs she'd been singing for years, but had the confidence that once she got up on the stage she'd be able to sing them the way she always had. But here they were, making music again. Together.

As they finished, she bowed to the audience and then leaned in to plant her lips on his. He slid his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. "Nice job, Ray," he whispered into her ear.

She put her lips to his once again as the crowd continued to celebrate with them. As she pulled away, she smiled. "Think we might be able to make a living off this?" she teased.

"Somethin' like that," Deacon responded as they headed back off the stage.

The tour was set to start the next week, two days after the album dropped. Tonight had just been a tease. Being back on the road, playing to arenas, that would be the true test.

* * *

><p>"Felt good to be back out there," Deacon said as he came into their bedroom and pulled back the comforter.<p>

Rayna finished rubbing cream into her hands and leaned over to kiss him. "It was amazing, babe. Your hand feel okay? You were really tearing it up out there."

Deacon nodded. "Yeah, hand feels good, but I have to admit I have a headache. Nothin' a good night of sleep won't fix, though."

He slid down, his head on the pillow and rolled slightly onto his side as Rayna curled into him.

Nothin' at all, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Rayna pulled the carafe from the coffee maker and filled the coffee mugs on the counter. "Splash of cream for you, Buck?" she asked her manager.<p>

"Yeah, thanks, Ray," he replied. "Well, reports are all very good," he said as he took a sip of the cup. "Another great performance."

"And the tour?" Rayna asked. "How is that looking?"

"Shows are selling well. The midwestern leg is sold out and the western leg goes on sale tomorrow. Edgehill seems very pleased with the prospects for the album launch."

Rayna sipped from her cup and sat down at the counter across from Bucky. "They've been really patient. Kind of surprised me."

"You've done a lot for Edgehill over the years," Bucky replied. "You needed a year to get over this and you're gonna be back out there better than ever."

Rayna took another drink and set her mug down. "I hope so, Bucky. I just...it still worries me a little bit. How we're gonna hold up, how it's going to affect me, Deacon, us...it's just been so good these past few months, just spending time on getting back to being us again, becoming a family. How does that all change when we head back out on the road?"

Bucky stood up and slipped his coat on. "You're a pro, Ray. You'll get it done. Now, I just have a couple of things for Deacon to sign. Is he headed down soon?"

Rayna smiled. "He was in the shower when you got here. I'm sure he'll be down in a minute, but let me run up there and check on him."

Bucky watched as she headed for the steps, then picked up the newspaper to see the photo of Rayna and Deacon on the front page of the lifestyle section.

"Bucky!" Rayna screamed from the floor above. "Bucky!"

* * *

><p>The water had still been running when Rayna came into the bathroom, but Deacon wasn't in the shower. He was on the floor. Unconscious.<p>

All she could do is call for help and hold him. And pray.

TBC


	2. Chapter 1

"Male, age 45, unconscious at the scene," the paramedic called out to the ER doctor as they rolled Deacon on a gurney into Vanderbilt Hospital. Rayna followed closely behind, trying to follow the words that seemed to keep coming out of the young man's mouth.

They pushed Deacon into an exam room and the doctor turned back to her, a look crossing his face as he recognized the country star standing in front of him. "Ma'am...uh, Ms. Jaymes, you'll need to wait out here."

"But what's happening, what's wrong with him?" Rayna asked, her voice breaking.

The doctor reached up and put his hand on her arm. "Please, let us find out. I'll come find you as soon as I know anything."

"Rayna!"

She turned at the sound of Bucky's voice. "Oh, Buck...he's…" Her voice trailed off, she didn't know what to say.

"C'mon, hon, let's find a place to sit and they'll come find us as soon as they know anything," Bucky replied as he led her to a small waiting area.

* * *

><p>It felt like they waited forever. Rayna's hands kept reaching for her phone, she would start a text to Scarlett, to Maddie, but then erase it and put the phone back in her coat pocket. What would she say to them? There was no point in worrying them until they knew what they had to worry about.<p>

"Do they think he fainted? Did he hit his head?" Bucky asked.

Rayna shrugged. "They didn't seem to know anything."

"Had he been feeling okay?"

Rayna shrugged again. "Yes, no...I mean, he had a headache when we went to bed and a couple of weeks ago you would have thought he was dying from the way he acted, but it was just a virus. He got better. He's been just fine."

"Ms. Jaymes?"

Rayna looked up to find the doctor standing in front of her. "Is he okay? Can we see him?" she asked.

"Yes, follow me. We're giving him some IV fluids and we're doing some tests, but he's awake," the doctor explained as he led Rayna and Bucky back to the exam room.

"Ray, I can…" Bucky started.

Rayna looked back at her manager, distracted. "Uh, Buck, can you call Teddy? Tell him that...just ask him if the girls can stay there for a while. Don't...don't say anything right now, but tell him I'll call him in a little while."

"Of course," Bucky answered. "And I'll check back in on you in a little bit and see what else you need."

She gave him a quick hug and then turned back to the room where Deacon lay in the bed.

"Hey," she said as she walked in the put her hand on his shoulder. "Deacon, you scared the crap out of me."

Deacon coughed and reached out for her, grimacing as the IV pulled on his hand. "Didn't seem like that wild of a night last night."

"Joke all you want," she responded. "You know I can't remember those days. Don't ever...don't do that again." She leaned in and kissed him. "I can't do this without you."

"Just as well you don't remember," Deacon replied. "Sorry I scared you, babe. Must've been that virus hanging on...I really don't remember what happened after I got in the shower. Don't even remember getting dizzy."

"Mr. Claybourne?"

Rayna and Deacon looked up as the doctor walked back in the room holding Deacon's chart. Rayna moved so she was next to Deacon, holding his hand carefully so she didn't dislodge the tubing going into it.

"So, we're going to need to do more tests, but I have some preliminary results back," he started. "Did I hear you say you'd been sick recently?"

Deacon tried to clear his throat, then started again. "Uh, yeah, had a pretty bad cold a couple of weeks ago, something viral they said when I went in to see my doctor."

"And you were in an accident about a year ago?" the doctor asked, looking back down at Deacon's chart.

"Yeah, I tore my hand up pretty badly, had surgery on it and did a bunch of rehab," Deacon replied.

"Do you drink alcohol?" the doctor asked.

Deacon looked over at Rayna. She reached up and stroked the stubble growing on his chin.

"Uh, I did," Deacon answered. "I'm in recovery, a little over fourteen years now, except for a few days about a year ago. What's up, doc?"

The doctor looked down at the chart again and then back at Rayna and Deacon. "Like I said, we need to do more tests, but I'm pretty concerned about your liver function. It's just...it's just not where we'd like it to be."

"What does that mean?" Rayna asked.

"It could be a few things. It could be related to the virus you had, or medication from when you had the injury or your previous alcohol use," he started. "But we really won't know much more until we do a few more tests. I'd like to admit you over night to get them done, if that's okay."

"I really feel…" Deacon started.

"We're staying," Rayna interrupted. "We're not going anywhere until we get to the bottom of this."

* * *

><p>Rayna waited in the hall while the orderlies came in and got Deacon ready to move upstairs into a private room. Her phone buzzed. It was Teddy.<p>

"Hey," she said as she answered the call.

"Everything okay, Rayna?" her ex-husband asked. "Bucky said something came up."

"Uh, yeah," Rayna stalled. "Would you...could the girls spend the night again?" she asked. She nodded and reached her hand out to take the bag of Deacon's belongings that the nurse was holding out to her.

"Where are you, Rayna?" Teddy asked. "Sounds like lots going on."

Rayna sighed. "We're...I'm at the ER with Deacon."

"Anything serious?" Teddy asked. "And yes, of course the girls can stay. We'll go bowling or get a movie."

Rayna took a deep breath, she was right on the edge of tears with everything that had happened that morning. "We're not sure. They want to do more tests. And they want to keep him overnight."

"Just call me if you need anything at all," Teddy offered.

Rayna smiled. "Just keep the girls entertained and I'll come get them tomorrow. Hopefully then we know something more."

She ended the call and followed the orderly as he pushed Deacon to the elevator. Hopefully tomorrow would have more answers for them. She wanted to hope those answers would mean nothing at all, but there was something in the doctor's voice that made her feel like that hope was going to end up being pretty naive.

TBC

_Thanks for the great reviews on the first chapter. I love hearing what people think of the story. And thank you for reading! - RW_


	3. Chapter 2

As it got later, Deacon told her to go home, to get a decent night's sleep in their bed, but Rayna knew it wasn't possible. Since Deacon had taken her home from the hospital, to their cabin, they had never spent a night apart. Instead, she accepted a blanket from the floor nurse and tried to get comfortable in the chair in the corner of the hospital room.

"Found you sleeping in a chair just like that once," Deacon said as she squirmed, trying to find any spot in the chair that would make it feel more like stretching out on her bed.

"Yeah?" she asked. At first, it frustrated her when Deacon remembered things that she didn't, but over time she grew to love it, like he was telling her a story. Now he was her memory.

"Your dad was sick, his heart attack. It was when we were touring with Juliette and you flew home. But you called me and I knew I had to come," Deacon explained.

"Ah, your _Boys and Buses_ phase," Rayna replied, smiling. "And you found me here?"

Deacon nodded and closed his eyes. "Yep, I woke you up and we talked. You told me about finding out that Watty and your mom had been together."

"Uh huh," Rayna replied, nodding. "The only thing better than learning about your mom's affair with your mentor, is getting to learn about it twice. At least the second time didn't involve my daddy having a heart attack in the hall or hitting anyone."

"Why don't you come over here," Deacon said as he moved over on the bed and patted the open space next to him. "I think I can find room in here for both of us and it sure beats that awful chair."

"Thanks, Babe," Rayna responded as she got up, crossed the room, slipped off her shoes and crawled into the bed next to him.

"So, what's the plan, Ray," Deacon asked, quietly.

"What do you mean?" she replied as her hand reached up to brush his hair away from his face.

"I know the girls are with Teddy tonight, but do we tell them? Do we keep it between us for now? We've been really careful about being open with them, but Ray-I'm scared and I don't know if I want them to know that."

Rayna was quiet.

"Babe?" Deacon asked.

She rolled on her side and looked at him. "I think we need to find out what's going on and then we talk to them, we tell them-if there's anything to tell." Her hand slid down Deacon's chest, resting just below his heart. "Let's not borrow trouble until we know what's going on, okay?"

Deacon nodded and pulled her close. They lie there until finally they were able to go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Deacon woke up to find Rayna standing next to the window holding a cup of coffee.<p>

"My god, that smells good. Did you bring me some?" he asked.

"Nothing by mouth until the tests are done," Rayna reminded him.

"Right," Deacon answered. "And when is that starting?"

Rayna looked over at the clock on the wall. "I think we're waiting for Dr. Andrews to come up, she's the hep...something with livers. You know me-my short-term memory is still for crap!"

Deacon smiled at her. "Let's just call her the liver doc. Did you meet her?"

Rayna nodded. "She popped her head in earlier when you were still asleep and said she was going to do rounds and then come back up. They've got you scheduled for an MRI and they wanted more blood. She also mentioned a biopsy while you're here."

"Sounds like your short-term memory is just fine, Ray. Why didn't you wake me up if she was going to cover all that stuff?" Deacon asked.

"You had finally fallen asleep, so no, I wasn't going to wake you up. You need to rest, Deacon."

"Deacon Claybourne?"

Rayna and Deacon looked up to find a young man standing at the door.

"I'm Josh, with the lab. I'm here for some more blood."

Deacon sighed and pushed back the covers to expose his arm. "Well, come and get it," he offered. "And after this, I can have something to eat?"

Josh looked down at his orders. "Looks like there's a potential liver biopsy on here as well, so no, sorry, you'll have to wait until Dr. Andrews decides about that."

Rayna watched as Josh filled vial after vial with blood from Deacon's arm. "Leave some in there," she teased.

"Good job," Josh said as he undid the tourniquet around Deacon's upper arm. "I'm doing to take this down the lab and we'll get started on the tests. Good luck." He patted Deacon's arm, then headed out the door.

"This waiting is killing me," Deacon muttered.

Rayna walked over the bed, leaned down and kissed him. "We'll find out something soon. You just need to be patient, Deacon."

Deacon looked at her and gave a quick laugh. "I know you think you know me, Ray, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret-patience is not my strong suit. I just need to know what's going on."

Rayna sat down on the bed next to him. "We both do. And we're going to find out what's happening and then we're going to deal with it."

"Deacon?"

Rayna and Deacon looked up to see Scarlett at the door.

"What are you?" Deacon started. He turned and looked at Rayna. "Did you call her?"

Scarlett crossed into the room. "Rayna texted me and I'm glad she did. What is going on?" She leaned in and gave Deacon a hug.

"I just thought...I just thought we should wait until we knew anything," Deacon replied. "No need to worry until we have anything to worry about. We can just…"

Deacon's voice trailed off as a blonde haired woman in a white coat walked into the room.

"So, we ready to figure out what's going on?" she asked.

Rayna stood up and crossed over to her. "Deacon, this is Doctor Andrews. This is Deacon and his niece Scarlett."

The doctor shook hands with Deacon and Scarlett. "So, we should get on with the rest of the tests. I'd like to do an MRI and depending on what that shows us, we may do a biopsy."

"And what is this going to tell us?" Deacon asked.

The doctor looked down at her chart. "Well, as I said your initial tests were a cause for concern. Your liver function is very poor and with your history, I think we may be looking at cirrhosis."

"Even though Deacon hasn't used alcohol for so long?" Rayna asked, her face creased with worry.

"It's possible that the damage that was done earlier has been exacerbated by other things," Dr. Andrews replied. "Looking back at your bloodwork when you were here a year ago, it was borderline, so I'm not sure why more examination wasn't done. But then again, there was a lot of focus on your hand and the damage done to the tendons."

"And what would that mean, if it's cirrhosis," Deacon asked quietly.

"I'd like to talk about that when we know more," the doctor replied. "At this point I'd be guessing and well...let's cross that bridge when we know. To be honest, at this point the main thing I can tell you is to stay off Google. We are still at the point of diagnosis and planning. Then we'll talk about a prognosis. There's a lot of not knowing and without a biopsy, we really won't know anything for sure."

"What do you mean the tests were borderline?" Rayna asked.

Dr. Andrews looked down at the chart, again. "So, the blood clotting profile was abnormal which could have been an early sign of dysfunction. But it wasn't a definitive sign at that point. The problem is the liver is a bad organ to screw up. It has over 500 functions that we know, so when it's gone, there's no "dialysis" for all of that. The kidneys are important but dumb. They do like 2 things - filter and re-absorb. We can figure that out. Making blood clotting factors and digestive enzymes and regulating glucose metabolism and metabolism of lots of other medications and things that we cannot. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

"So, you will do a biopsy for sure?" Scarlett asked, looking up from the notebook where she had been taking notes on what the doctor said.

"Like I said, at this point, we're still looking for answers and I think we probably will do one, but I won't know. Please…" She stopped and smiled. "I know this is overwhelming and scary, but please, let's just wait and see what we find."

TBC

_Many thanks to the readers and especially to Beth Pryor for her expert eyes._


	4. Chapter 3

The day of tests passed in a whirl. By the late afternoon, they were finally done and the hospital discharged Deacon. Dr. Andrews said she would see them the next day to go over results, but in the meantime, Deacon should go home and try to rest.

Rayna held the bag of prescriptions as she opened the front door of Scarlett's car. Deacon gingerly settled into the passenger seat. Rayna closed the door and got in the backseat behind him.

"Thanks for bringing us home, Scarlett," Rayna said. "I hadn't even thought about not having a car here."

"It's not problem, happy to do it," Scarlett replied. "Let's get you both home. Tandy brought over some soup, so there's something warm to eat."

"Where are the girls?" Deacon asked as they drove down the already dark streets back toward Rayna's house in Belle Meade.

"They're at Teddy's," Rayna replied. "But they're expecting to come home tonight. You up for that?"

"Yeah," Deacon said, bringing his hand up to head. "I want 'em home, but...I don't want to say anything right now. Can we...can we wait until we know something to tell them."

"Kidney stones," Scarlett said.

"What?" Rayna and Deacon replied in unison.

"Tell 'em you had kidney stones. My daddy had when I was in high school Spent the night in the hospital, came home looking pale and sore. You can always tell 'em something else later, but they're not going to believe you if you say you just wanted a date night last night. You look like hell, Deacon."

Deacon chuckled. "Thanks for putting some sugar on it, Scarlett."

Rayna reached forward to touch Deacon's shoulder. "Yes, but it's a good idea. We'll tell them it's kidney stones."

* * *

><p>"Hey, girls," Rayna said as Daphne and Maddie came into the kitchen with Teddy. "Did you have fun with your dad?"<p>

Daphne gave her mom a hug. "We had a great time. Where's Deacon?" she asked.

Rayna turned and gave Maddie a hug as well. "He's upstairs, resting. Sorry, we had a little excitement last night."

"What's wrong?" Maddie asked, looking concerned as she set her backpack on the kitchen counter.

"Just some kidney stones, but he's pretty worn out," Rayna replied. "Why don't you girls go up and check on him. I need to talk to your dad for a minute."

The girls headed upstairs to see Deacon. Teddy set down Daphne's backpack and pulled back a kitchen stool to sit down."

"Kidney stones. I hear they hurt worse than labor, but it must be a relief," Teddy said.

Rayna shook her head. "Actually, that's just what we decided to tell them. We spent the whole day at Vanderbilt today, but we don't actually know anything yet. But Deacon wanted to see the girls and we had to tell them something, 'cause they'd know something was wrong."

"Do they have any ideas?" Teddy asked, as he leaned forward on the counter. He nodded as Rayna held up a bottle of white wine. "Sure, just a little."

She poured them each a glass of wine and sat down across from him. "Honestly, I'm in shock. We're scared, trying not to think it's the worse, but I think he's really sick, Teddy. And I don't know what we're gonna do."

Teddy reached across and took her hand in his. "You'll get through this, Ray and I'm here to do anything to help you that I can."

"Did it hurt really bad?" Daphne asked as she crawled on the bed next to Deacon.

Deacon nodded and chuckled. "Folks say it's as bad as havin' a baby, but I wouldn't know about that. But if that's what it felt like for your mama, then you're lucky she's still talkin' to both of you."

Maddie stood at the end of the bed. "But you're okay now?"

Deacon patted the bed on the other side. "C'mere girl. I'm gonna be just fine."

Maddie slid onto the bed next to her dad. Deacon slid his arms around both girls. "This is the best medicine anyone could prescribed for me."

* * *

><p>"Please, come right in," Doctor Andrews said the next afternoon as Deacon, Rayna and Scarlett walked into the office.<p>

"I have some memory issues," Rayna said as they sat down. "We asked Scarlett to come so that we'd have an extra set of ears."

"It's a good idea," Dr. Andrews said. She sat down behind her desk and opened up Deacon's chart. "I'm glad to see you have some support, Deacon. That's really important."

She began to read through the results of the tests, then looked up. Scarlett's hand was busy taking notes and Deacon's hand was clutching Rayna's.

"What does that all mean?" Deacon asked. "I know I might learn this stuff, but right now all those tests and numbers, it's Greek to me."

Dr. Andrews nodded. "I'm afraid you might all learn more about adult internal medicine than you'll ever want to know. The diagnosis is as we feared-advanced cirrhosis. What's causing it now? I'm not sure we'll know. I'd say that the damage has been there for a long time, but it's also probable that a more recent virus caused more damage and got us where we are now. But there is good news."

"Good," Rayna replied, a small smile crossing her face.

"Based on the initial results, I was afraid we might be looking at a malignancy in the liver. But based on the tests we did yesterday I don't see any evidence of it. I didn't see anything on the PET scan and the biopsy was negative."

"But what's the prognosis?" Deacon asked quietly. "I mean, I'm glad it's not cancer, but based on the look on your face, I'd say we're not out of the woods."

Dr. Andrews nodded. "Yes, you're right about that. I have to be honest, you're in end stage liver failure. We can treat you with medication, but we can't stop the damage that's been done. We need to talk very seriously about a liver transplant."

"Are you serious?" Deacon asked. "That's...that's the only thing we can do?"

"At this point, it's best that we start planning for that eventuality. We need to get you on a transplant list and we also need to talk about a live donor. I'd rather we do the transplant before your condition gets any worse."

Scarlett looked up. "A live donor? What does that mean?"

Dr. Andrews explained the process of a live donor giving Deacon part of his or her liver. "It's a complicated organ, but it's also pretty amazing. We can put a section of a matched healthy donor's liver and that person's organ will regrow in his or her body as well as grow in Deacon's. If we've resolved the underlying reason for the liver failure, then the transplant will provide a cure."

"What are the risks?" Deacon asked quietly.

"It's not a simple procedure," Dr. Andrews responded. "For the donor or for you. And then you would be required to take anti-rejection drugs for the rest of your life to support the new organ. It would have life-long implications for you, but I honestly believe that you will die without it. Probably within a year."

Rayna gasped. "A year?"

"Most likely," the doctor replied quietly. "So, let's talk about how we might find you a donor."

* * *

><p>Deacon sat in the passenger seat as Rayna turned off the ignition. He hadn't said a word the whole way home.<p>

"I'm going to take the test and so is Scarlett and if we're not a match, then we'll go from there," Rayna said.

Deacon shook his head and brought his hand up to his mouth, trying to stifle the tears that he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Oh babe," Rayna said as she undid her seatbelt and turned, taking him in her arms. "Babe."

She held him as Deacon broke down in sobs.

"I'm supposed...I'm supposed…"Deacon tried to say.

"Supposed to what?" Rayna asked, her arms around Deacon. "Be here forever? Take care of our family? Of course. That's what we both want. Please don't give up on my now. I'm not ready for this to end. I just got you back. I'm not ready…" Rayna broke down in tears as well, holding Deacon until finally they were both exhausted.

"We should go in," Rayna finally said, quietly.

"When we tell them, it's real," Deacon replied. "Do we have to tell them?"

"We made a pact last year, we're a family and we tell the truth, Deacon," Rayna reminded him. "We need to tell the girls. It's their right to know."

"I just don't want...I don't want them to see me as sick or broken," Deacon replied, turning to Rayna.

"Deacon, they love you and you're their dad. And we do this as a family."

TBC

_Thanks for reading. I promise there's more coming, but life may make the next chapters a bit slower to arrive. I promise I'm still working on it!_


	5. Chapter 4

It was a quiet afternoon while they waited for the girls to get home from school. Deacon sat in the family room playing his guitar while Rayna checked out the window every few minutes watching for Teddy's car to pull up.

"They're here," she said, softly.

Deacon lay aside his guitar and patted the couch next to him. "Come sit here by me, Ray."

She crossed over and sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers.

"Mom!" Daphne called as she came in the house. "I got to the district round for National History Day." She crossed over and sat down next to Rayna. "They said it was really great, like a high school kid would do."

Daphne had been working on her documentary about Harriet Tubman since before Christmas.

"That's great, honey," Rayna answered.

"Mom?" Maddie walked in with Teddy and joined them in the family room.

"Hey, girls-come sit down. Your mom and I need to talk to you," Deacon said.

Maddie sat down in the chair across from the couch and Teddy joined her, sitting on the arm of the chair.

"This is about you being in the hospital, isn't it? It wasn't kidney stones, was it?" Maddie asked.

Rayna couldn't help but inhale a deep breath. Maddie was so observant, so thoughtful, so quiet. This would hurt them both so much.

"No, it wasn't," Deacon answered.

He slowly related the news they had heard from the doctor earlier that day. Daphne began to cry, but Maddie stayed stone faced. Teddy's hand dropped down around her shoulders, but she shook him off.

"Are you going to die?" she asked her father.

Deacon stood up and moved over to her, kneeling down in front her. "I sure hope not, darlin'. I'm not ready to leave any of you, but we don't know."

"Can they do something?" Maddie asked. "Is there some medicine or surgery or can they do something to make you better?"

"I...uh…" Deacon didn't know how much to share with the girls when they still didn't really have any answers.

"The doctors are doing everything they can, honey," Teddy answered. "Your mom and Deacon, they need all of us right now to be strong and to be positive. Can you girls do that for us?"

Daphne and Maddie both nodded.

"Then that's what I need the most right now," Deacon replied.

* * *

><p>Rayna crossed into their bedroom and pulled back the covers. Deacon lay on his back on his side of the bed, his eyes closed.<p>

"You doin' okay, hon?" she asked, rolling on her side facing him.

Deacon opened his eyes up and pushed up so he was sitting, resting against the headboard. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

He sighed. "About all those times I went to rehab. Five, if you forgot what I told you. And how four times I went back to it and kept drinking and then using drugs, how messed up I was."

Rayna moved closer to him. "But you stopped using and it worked."

Deacon rubbed his hand across his face. "But what was it for? I mean, all that and getting sober and here we are. What was it for?"

"Don't ever say that," Rayna said. She sat up, resting on her knees next to him. "Do not ever say that, Deacon Claybourne. Because you know what it was for? It was so that you're alive today, that we have our family, that you know your daughter. Cause if you kept drinking, none of that would be true. I may not know everything that happened back then, but I think I know myself and you well enough that we would never be where you are today and honestly, Deacon-you'd already be dead. So, I know that you might want to have a few minutes of self-pity, but that's over tomorrow. Cause tomorrow we're gonna start on figuring out how you survive. Okay?"

A small smile crossed Deacon's face, lightening his eyes ever so slightly. He leaned forward and kissed her. "Okay, Ray."

"Okay," she replied, then moved so that she was in his arms. "Okay."

He pulled her close to him when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Rayna called out softly.

Maddie pushed the door open and crossed to their bed. She sat down at the end of it as Deacon and Rayna sat back up, leaning against the headboard.

"I know you had to keep it simple before, I mean, for Daphne, but can you really tell me about this?" she asked.

"Oh, sweet girl," Rayna replied, her voice catching.

"I mean it, Mom. I want you to tell me what the doctor really said, what's gonna happen. I'm old enough and you're my dad. Tell me when they can do...what they're gonna do."

Maddie sat quietly, taking it in while Deacon explained what they had learned from Dr. Andrews.

"So, this transplant. Is it more likely with a family member?" Maddie asked.

"Yes, there's a higher probability," Deacon replied. "But we could find a match another way."

"But Scarlett and me, we should get tested, right?" Maddied asked.

Rayna reached out toward Maddie. "No, honey, you're...you're too young for that."

"I can't ask that," Deacon responded.

Maddie shook her head. "You're not asking. I want to know if it's better if it's a family member and I think that Scarlett and I should get tested. And then I think we should tell our friends. I...I looked at a bunch of stuff. We need to get it out there, to let people know you need this transplant, Dad. That's how we're going to find a donor for you."

"Honey, it doesn't really work that way," Deacon replied. "It's a lot to ask somebody for and we can't just go out asking the whole world to help us like this."

"But we can," Maddie replied. "People do stuff like this all the time on Facebook. They ask for kidneys and stuff. It's the same kind of thing. People love you, Dad, and you give them things all the time. You're one of the most generous guys I know."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to be a viral campaign, Maddie," Deacon replied.

"Are you ready to get better? To live?" Maddie asked.

Deacon nodded.

"Well, then I think we need to be ready to do everything that we can so you can get better. No matter what. Will you do that, Dad?"

Rayna reached over and took Deacon's hand. "Will you do it, babe? Fight? For us?"

Deacon looked over at Rayna and Maddie and smiled, then nodded. "Yeah, I'll fight...for all of us."

"Me too?"

The three on the bed looked over to see Daphne standing in the doorway.

"Get over here," Deacon replied. "Of course you too...that's our family-Deacon, Rayna, Maddie and Daphne."

Daphne crossed over and climbed onto the bed. "Okay, so what are we gonna do first…"

* * *

><p>"Well, I guess the paparazzi are good for one thing," Deacon said as they walked up to the checkout counter in the grocery store. Deacon's face was on the cover of every magazine, with the stories ranging from the authorized "I Want to Live" story on the cover of <em>People<em> to the "Will Deacon Die?" on the _In Touch_ magazine to the "Truth about Rayna Leads to Deacon's Death Wish Bender" on the cover of _Star_.

"I told Bucky that we wanted _People_ to have an exclusive," Rayna said as she pulled out a copy of _In Touch_. "But I do look pretty good in this shot," she commented as she flipped open to the story. The photo had been snapped as they left the hospital the week before, Rayna's eyes covered with sunglasses, her arm protectively around Deacon's.

"I just can't figure out which is worse...that they said I'd been on a bender, or the photoshopping of jaundice," Deacon replied as he grabbed the copy of _Star_.

"I just wish they didn't always have to snap the photo when I have such a crabby look on my face," Rayna responded. "I mean, I try to smile…"

Deacon put the magazine back in the rack. "Well, you're handling it a lot better than you did when the news about the divorce came out in the tabloids."

"Yeah," Rayna replied.

"According to the girls, it was quite a scene with you rushing them out to the car and ordering Tandy to buy every copy in the store," Deacon explained.

Rayna laughed. "How did that work?"

"Well, not very well," Deacon answered. "Although, they did include a nice shot of me and intimated that we'd been knocking boots the whole time you were married to Teddy."

"Nuh uh!" Rayna exclaimed.

Deacon laughed and chuckled. "Okay, just one copy of each this time-for the scrapbook."

He was putting the magazines in the cart when his phone rang. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. "Hey, Ray...it's Dr. Andrews."

"This is Deacon," he said, answering the phone. "Uh huh...yep...okay, yeah, that'll work. Okay, sounds good."

He ended the call and stuck the phone back in his pocket. "Put the milk and ice cream back, hon...she wants to talk to us right now."

TBC


	6. Chapter 5

Deacon and Rayna were waiting in Dr. Andrews' office when she walked in.

"Thanks for coming so quickly. I really appreciate it," she said as she walked around the desk. "We have all of your results back from the tests we did and I wanted to talk about our next step as soon as we could."

Deacon leaned forward. "What's the verdict?"

"Well, the main thing is that other than the liver disease, you're very healthy and you're a great candidate for transplant. We believe that you will have a successful outcome with the surgery."

"How do we find a liver?" Rayna asked. "Do we get family tested and have them donate? Ask our friends?"

Dr. Andrews smiled. "Ever since Meredith gave her liver to her dad on Grey's Anatomy, I've gotten that question a lot. Yes, you can have a family member donate part of their liver, but the fact is that of the 7,000 transplants that are done every year, most are done with a cadaver liver. The good news is that Deacon has a relatively common blood type and doesn't have any major antibodies that will make it hard to find a match for him. What we're looking at right now is your MELD score to see where you'll fall on the donor list. That can mean we're looking at days, weeks or months before we do the transplant."

"MELD? What's that?" Deacon asked.

"It's a Model for End-Stage Liver Disease," the doctor answered. She looked down at Deacon's record. "Based on this, I'd say we're looking at weeks rather than days or years."

"And that's what we do? We wait for that?" Rayna asked.

"Well, I would still have relatives who are healthy and willing to donate to get tested. There's no reason not to do that. The two things we need to match are blood type and size. Unfortunately, that makes Scarlett a less good option, if her blood type does match, but let's do the test. We need to keep Deacon as healthy as we can in the meantime. We don't want to see the disease advance any more than necessary before the surgery. Any more questions?"

Deacon and Rayna shook their head.

"Okay, then I just have one more for you," Dr. Andrews said.

"Shoot," Deacon replied.

She slid out the copy of the Star and flipped open to the article about Deacon. "Why in the world would these people think you'd be going to some fancy clinic in Minnesota when we've got world class doctors right here at Vanderbilt?"

Rayna smiled and shook her head. "See, now you know for sure just how full of crap those rags are."

* * *

><p>Deacon and Rayna walked back out into the sunlight of the afternoon and headed toward their car.<p>

"Part of me thought we were going to walk in there and she'd put you right on a gurney and rush you into surgery," Rayna said as she slid her arm around Deacon's waist.

"Little anticlimactic, for you, then?" Deacon responded.

"Maybe so. But we'll have to tell the girls what's going on now and you know Daphne's gonna have billboards printed up before we get half the story out," Rayna teased.

"I hate the idea of someone dying for me or even just giving up part of the vital organs," Deacon replied quietly.

Rayna stopped and turned to face him. She raised her face up and kissed him. "I know, hon, but you'd be the first guy to do it for someone else and remember, we vitally need you here with us, so you've just got to do this."

Deacon looked at her for a moment and then leaned forward to kiss her. "I feel like I only just got you back and I'm not ready to give up."

"Good," Rayna replied.

* * *

><p>The days passed with numbing repetitiveness. The tour was cancelled and Rayna found Deacon down in the music room more and more.<p>

"You going to record any of that?" she asked as he scribbled another bar down with one hand while balancing his guitar with the other. "How about we call Erica, see if she's got room for you at the Bluebird."

Deacon shook his head. "Don't feel like goin' out, havin' folks looking at me and wonderin' if I'm gonna die."

"People are worried about you, Deacon. I think it would be good for them to see that you're hanging in there." She came over and sat down next to him. "I'm worried about you. I feel like you're starting to slip away from us."

She slid her arm around his back and leaned into him. "Can I call her?"

"Yeah, do it," Deacon answered gruffly. He had been getting quieter and quieter.

"Maybe we can do something together?" she asked. "Or the girls?"

Deacon moved away and turned to face her. "Like a grand finale or something?"

"No, not a grand finale at all," Rayna replied. "Nothing like that at all."

* * *

><p>Erica had been more than happy to find a spot for them the following Thursday night. Even though it was a school night, Rayna and Teddy agreed it was important for the girls to be there and Maddie had insisted that they be allowed to do a new song.<p>

Deacon was standing on the side, holding Rayna's hand when his phone vibrated.

"It's the doctor-I should take this," he said as he handed her his guitar.

She watched from the side of the stage while Deacon ducked into the hallway and answered his phone. She saw him nod, respond and then end the call. He headed back over to her and took back the guitar.

"What did she say?" Rayna asked.

"After the song," Deacon replied. He headed up on the stage and began to sing.

_You are the dream that finally came true  
><em>_A wish I made so long ago  
><em>_You in my life is like the room was an awesome view  
><em>_I love you more than you will ever know_

_In you I found someone unique  
><em>_Amazing and incredible  
><em>_I try to explain it but I can't speak  
><em>_All I can say is irreplaceable_

_The years have gone by, but it's all still new to me  
><em>_The day we met doesn't seem so long ago  
><em>_You in my life is like the room with an awesome view  
><em>_I still love you more than you'll ever know_

_You're the kind of woman every man seeks  
><em>_Loving and adorable  
><em>_I try to explain it but I can't speak  
><em>_All I can say is irreplaceable_

As he finished up the song, Rayna reached up to brush away the tears that came to her eyes. He turned to her and held out his hand. "Come sing one with me, babe?"

She nodded and walked up onto the stage, sitting down next to him. She leaned in, "better pick one I know."

He nodded and turned back to the band.

As the opening bars were played she smiled back at him.

_Don't you try to tell me someone's waiting  
><em>_They're not waiting for you  
><em>_Oh and don't you try to tell me that you're wanted  
><em>_That you're needed  
><em>_Cause it's not true  
><em>_I know why you're lonely  
><em>_It's time you knew it too_

_No one will ever love you, no one will ever love you  
><em>_No one will ever love you like I do_

Deacon leaned in toward his microphone, his voice joining in with hers.

_Why you always looking for the limelight?  
><em>_Ain't you satisfied with me?  
><em>_Oh, for once why don't you get down off your high heels  
><em>_You're no big deal  
><em>_Can't you see?  
><em>_I know why you're lonely  
><em>_It's time you knew it too_

_No one will ever love you  
><em>_No one will ever love you  
><em>_No one will ever love you like I do_

_I'm all you got  
><em>_I'm all you'll ever need  
><em>_I'm all you'll ever have  
><em>_No one will ever love you  
><em>_No one will ever love you  
><em>_No one will ever love you like I do  
><em>

_Like I do_

_Like I do_

As the last notes drifted away, he leaned in to kiss her, then whispered into her ear.

"Okay, we gotta go now- Andrews wants us at the hospital. They found a liver."

TBC

Note:

The first song is something floating around on YouTube that supposedly Deacon was going to sing to Rayna in season 2.


	7. Chapter 6

Deacon paused outside the hospital entrance as Rayna finished up her phone call. She slid the phone back into her purse and turned to him.

"Okay, Scarlett has the girls. She's going to take them to Teddy's house and then get your things and meet us here. Bucky is coming over in a little bit and I left a message for Tandy."

"Good," Deacon replied. "Wow, all that waiting and sitting at home-maybe we should have left the house two weeks ago."

Rayna smiled at him and chuckled. "Well, let's get in there. Dr. Andrews said they would have your paperwork started."

Deacon followed her into the building and listened as she directed the admissions staff to getting Deacon registered and ready to go up to the pre-op waiting room. A year ago he was afraid she'd never be Rayna again, but watching her, it was like her accident had never happened.

"Okay, Mr. Claybourne, let's head up to the fourth floor," the orderly said. "You should come along with us as well," he indicated to Rayna. "We'll get him settled and then you can say goodbye. Then I'll take you to the OR waiting room."

They headed upstairs, Rayna pointed toward a small room to wait while they prepped Deacon for the surgery. She had just been there for a few minutes when Dr. Andrews popped her head in to say hello.

"It's a good liver according to the transplant team," she told Rayna. "It's coming from Atlanta, so once they're in the air, we'll get started. Because of the size of Deacon's liver, it will take us a while to get in there and remove his organ."

"So, you take his out before the other one even gets here?" Rayna asked.

Dr. Andrews shook her head. "No, they'll start the surgery, but they won't actually remove his liver until I've looked at the new organ and I think believe it's viable. The surgery is going to take a while, but I will have someone come out and let you know where the team is at each point."

"They?" Rayna asked. "You won't be there? I thought...aren't you doing the surgery?"

"I'm the heptalogist, remember?" Dr. Andrews said. "When we met with the team, Dr. Alvarez was there. Remember her?"

"I didn't like her," Rayna answered.

"That's fine, but she's the best liver transplant doc in the Southeast. You don't have to go on vacation with her, but we should both be glad that she's working on Deacon."

"Will you be there?" Rayna asked.

"Every minute," Dr. Andrews answered. "No way I'm missing out on this one."

"And afterward?" Rayna asked. "I know you probably told me, but right now I can't remember any of that stuff."

"No, it's fine," the doctor answered. "The first twelve hours are really critical. We need to watch for rejection, for any bleeds and for clots. It's a major surgery, so any of those things can happen and if they do, then we will work to resolve the problem." She reached over and touched Rayna's arm. "He's strong and frankly, he's pretty healthy for as sick as he is. We're going to take good care of him and do our very best. So, try not to worry more than you have to. You have other folks coming here to be with you? You really shouldn't be alone-it's going to take us at least eight hours to do the surgery and may be longer."

Rayna nodded. "Yes, my sister and manager, Bucky are coming and of course Deacon's niece. They said they'll have us move to another room?"

Dr. Andrews nodded. "Actually, I think we have a more private space for you to wait, if you like. The waiting room is nice, but…"

"We'd be the only ones attracting photographers from TMZ?" Rayna replied.

"We will do everything to protect your privacy and of course, no one will hear anything about Deacon from our staff."

"Yes, but these things have a way of getting out," Rayna replied. "Believe me, I know."

"The pre-op nurse will be back for you in a few minutes. I'm going to go get scrubbed up and ready," the doctor said.

Rayna stood up and held her arms out. "I don't know if you're a hugger, but I just…"

The doctor stepped closer and accepted Rayna's embrace.

"Just take care of him," Rayna said as they pulled apart. "He's...he's my everything."

As the doctor left, Rayna's phone rang. She looked down to see Maddie's face on the screen.

"Hey, honey," she answered.

"Did they take Dad already?" Maddie asked.

"They're just getting him ready," she answered. "I'm so glad we were all together tonight when he found out. And you girls were so beautiful up on that stage. Those memories are going to be in your dad's head while he goes under during the surgery. He can dream about you the whole time."

"I want to come wait with you," Maddie said. "Can I?"

"Are you sure, honey? It's going to be a long time. Don't you want to get some sleep and come in the morning when we might get to see him?"

"I want to be there, Mom. I want to be with you," Maddie pleaded.

"Okay," Rayna said finally. "Tell Teddy to call me when you get to the hospital and I'll come get you, but it's going to be a long night, Maddie."

She ended the call and reached over the pick up the limp magazine on the table next to her. Popular Mechanics. Of course.

"Ms Jaymes?"

She looked up to see a nurse standing in the door.

"If you want to come with me, we're almost ready to take Mr. Claybourne into the OR. Then I can take you to the private waiting room."

Rayna gathered up her bag and dropped the magazine back down on the table. She followed the nurse wordlessly, down the hallway, noticing how cold it seemed. She wished Scarlett or Tandy or Bucky or anyone was with her.

Finally they turned a corner and there Deacon was. He was on a gurney, dressed in a hospital gown.

"Nice look, babe," she said as she came up to him.

"I like it, a little breezy in the back, but overall just fine," Deacon replied.

She leaned down and kissed him deeply. After a moment, she stood back up. "Okay, go get that new liver."

"I love you, Ray," he replied, his voice breaking.

"Forever, babe," she replied.

She didn't want to let him go, but she also wanted the surgery to start so that it could be over and they could go on to the next stage in their life.

"Okay, we need to go," the nurse said, as an orderly came up to push the gurney toward the OR.

She stood watching as Deacon disappeared down the hallway. Once he was gone from sight, she sank against the wall, her ability to hold back her tears gone.

"Rayna?"

She looked up to find Scarlett standing in front of her. "Hey, they just...they just took him in," she answered.

"They told me at the desk when I came up to the floor. They've got a room down here for us-let's go down there and sit down."

She followed Scarlett down the hallway to the small room. She looked around. There were a couple of couches, a window looking out over the city and a small table with a few snacks and a coffee maker.

She looked up at the clock on the wall. It was just after midnight. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>Rayna woke up with a start at the sound of her name.<p>

"Rayna?" Dr. Andrews said, standing in front of her. The doctor was still in her scrubs, with her surgical cap in her hand.

"Is it over?" she asked. Someone had been coming in every couple of hours to give them an update through the night and into the next day.

The doctor sat down on the couch next to her. Scarlett and Maddie had fallen asleep on the other couch, Maddie's head resting in Scarlett's lap.

"It is. It went well and the liver looks really good. The donor was young. I think it will give Deacon many good years."

"It makes me sad to think about another family who is probably so devastated right now while we're rejoicing," Rayna replied. "Is there any way...can we ever thank them?"

Dr. Andrews nodded. "Yes, we can send a letter through the organ donor bank. And what you're feeling is very common. Organ donation is a great gift that comes at a great price for both our living donors and the cadaver donors."

"But Deacon is doing well?" Rayna asked.

"He's doing great. His heart and respirations were rock steady during the surgery, the perfusion of the organ went really well and now we're just getting him upstairs into ICU. We'll keep him there at least two days."

"Can we see him?" Rayna asked.

"Yes, but let's just you and I go up while these two sleep. I'll send a nurse back down in a little bit to let them know where Deacon is."

"Thank you, Dr. Andrews," Rayna said, her voice cracking.

The doctor touched her shoulder. "Hey, I think you should probably call me Sarah. Okay, let's go check in on that guy. I'm thinking he would love to see you there when he opens his eyes.

TBC

_As always, my thanks to Beth Pryor. Thank you for saving me from uniformed, unnecessary mistakes._


	8. Chapter 7

Rayna walked into Deacon's room in the ICU. There were machines all over, with lines and tubes going to various parts of his body. He was still as the machine beeped with the rhythm of his heart, the clip on his finger measuring his oxygen, a tube going down his nose and an oxygen mask over his face.

"I didn't think there would be all this stuff…" Rayna started as she stopped by the door and turned back to Dr. Andrews.

"It's pretty routine," the doctor replied. "The tube in his nose is pretty unpleasant for him, it's an NG tube, but they'll want to keep that in for a little while to rest his gut. They were in his abdomen for quite a while today moving things around." She looked down at the chart. "It looks like he did well when they extubated him. The mask is just for some supplemental oxygen right now. The clip on his finger is measuring that."

"That's good," Rayna answered. "I had the tube for two weeks-it's pretty hard on the throat."

Dr. Andrews nodded. "I don't know that he'll wake up, but go up to to him, touch him, let him know you're here."

Rayna walked closer, her fingers glancing across Deacon's face. His cheeks were warm. "His color looks so much better," she commented.

"Lots of benefits to a healthy liver," the doctor replied.

Deacon moaned and his eyes fluttered.

"Hey, you're okay," Rayna said. She slid her hand into his and wrapped her fingers around his. "The surgery went well, you're in the ICU."

Deacon's eyes opened and his hand went up to the oxygen mask.

"No, Deacon," Rayna responded, her hand on his over the mask, but he pulled it away, anyhow.

"Made it," he whispered.

"Yes, you made it, babe," she replied.

His hand dropped back down to the bed and his eyes closed again. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "We made it, babe."

* * *

><p>Rayna walked up to the door with Maddie and Scarlett. "He's still pretty groggy and they've got him on medication that makes him a little goofy, but he's been asking for you. And remember, we can only stay for a couple of minutes, but we can come back tonight, too."<p>

She stepped back so the other two could walk in front ahead of her.

"Maddie," Deacon said weakly as he held his hand out toward her. She walked toward the bed and took his hand in hers.

"Are you okay, Dad?" she asked, her eyes meeting his. They looked clearer than they had before the surgery, but she could also tell from the way his mouth was set that he was in pain.

"I'm doing okay, honey. Don't worry," Deacon assured her.

Scarlett walked up behind Maddie. "You look so much better, Deacon."

He shifted slightly and grimaced. "Glad I'm lookin' it. Feels like they cut me wide open, though."

Rayna laughed. "You know, they did. I haven't seen it yet, but I hear the scar is something to behold. Okay, girls, we need to let Deacon get some sleep, so let's go. You can come back here tomorrow and check on him again."

"Just one more minute, Mom?" Maddie asked.

Rayna nodded. She understood exactly how Maddie felt. Now that Deacon had been given back to them, she didn't want to leave his side, either.

They talked for a few more minutes, then she could see Deacon's eyes beginning to close. "Okay, we really need to go now."

Scarlett and Maddie walked out of the room and she leaned down to give him a kiss. "I'm just going to say goodnight to them, and then I'll come back for a minute or two."

"Mmm hmmm," Deacon replied, his eyes barely open.

She kissed him again, turned to leave and then stopped to look back. It was a miracle, but they deserved one.

* * *

><p>The days passed quickly and slowly at the same time. After the second day, they moved Deacon from the ICU into his own room. After they got him settled, a young nurse walked in.<p>

"Good morning, Mr. Claybourne," she said.

Deacon shook his head. "I'm Deacon. This is Rayna," he said, leaning his head to the left to indicate Rayna sitting in the chair next to his bed. No need for any formalities."

"Okay, sounds good. I'm Marie," she replied. "I'm hoping you brought a robe and some slippers with you, because we need to get you up and out of that bed today."

Rayna got up and went to the wardrobe in the corner of the room and produced Deacon's robe and a pair of slip-on shoes. "We had to go shopping special for this. Deacon isn't exactly the robe and slipper kind of guy."

Rayna and Marie helped Deacon to sit on the side of the bed and the nurse leaned down to slide his shoes on while Rayna helped him put his arms through the robe.

"Any chance I can move on to something a little more normal this this gown?" Deacon asked.

Marie smiled. "Yes, we can probably do that. Looks like they've gotten rid of most of your tubes."

"Definitely the worst ones," Deacon replied.

"He wasn't too fond of the one in the nose or the other one going in," Rayna teased, smiling at the nurse and pointing in the general direction of where the catheter had existed the first two days."

"And those are reasons why we need to get you up and walking," the nurse added. "We want to get your strength up, make sure everything is working properly again and so that you can help take care of your own personal needs so you can get home."

"All sounds like good stuff," Deacon replied.

"Okay, now, let's go easy, get you on both feet and use my arm to keep steady," Marie advised. "You're going to feel weaker than you think and might even be a little dizzy at first."

She slowly helped Deacon to his feet. He took a deep breath, but kept his arm on hers.

"Okay, Rayna, you want to come on the other side and take Deacon's other arm," the nurse instructed. "We're going to head out into the hall and see if we can't go down about two doors."

"Doesn't sound like the marathon I thought you might be building up to," Deacon said.

"It will be a start," Marie replied.

The three walked slowly out of Deacon's room and then out into the hall. Marie managed Deacon with one hand and his IV stand with the other. They walked about ten feet and then stopped.

"Okay, let's head back for now and maybe have to sit in the chair for a bit while I change your bed and get things freshened up."

Rayna thought that the nurse might get a fight from Deacon, but instead he nodded and they headed back into the room. They crossed to the chair by the window and Marie got Deacon lined up in front of it.

"Okay, this is lower than your bed, so we're going to let you down easy. Try not to drop. You're still healing a lot of muscle in your core."

Deacon moved down slowly into the chair, groaning slightly as he settled back into the seat.

"You okay?" Marie asked.

Deacon nodded.

"I'm going to go grab some fresh water. I'll be back." Marie turned and left the room.

Rayna walked over to Deacon with a hand towel and wiped it across his brow. "Quite a work-out, huh?"

Deacon shook his head. "I never...I just did not think I'd feel that weak. Even before, I never felt like this."

Rayna pulled up a chair next to him. "It's gonna take time. Sarah says for every day they need to keep you here, you're gonna need at least 2-3 days at home. You just need to be patient."

Deacon nodded. "I know, babe, it's just, there's stuff I want to be doing. I want to get back on the road with you. I want our life...I just feel like we've put our whole lives on hold cause I got sick."

Rayna lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly. "We're gonna have time for all of that. But that's just what it's gonna take...time."

* * *

><p>Dr. Andrews sat next to the bed with Rayna along side her. "Okay, I've got the print-outs about the medications. Remember, you have to take each dose. Getting the liver was half the battle, you also need to make sure you keep it healthy. We've been lucky and there have been no signs of rejection, but monitoring that and maintaining the organ is going to have to be a lifestyle for you both now."<p>

Rayna nodded and looked over at the pile of papers and the bottles of pills next to it.

Deacon cleared his throat. "Am I gonna start feeling a bit more like myself? I mean, I'm startin' to feel a bit stronger, but some of the other stuff...will that get better?"

Dr. Andrews looked up and shrugged. "Yes and no. There's going to be a period where we're figuring out the medication and what levels you need to keep the liver healthy. I know we talked about it before, but these drugs all have side effects. I won't say that the cure is worse than the disease, but transplant is no small thing, Deacon. But no matter what the drugs do, if they make you feel sick or crazy or give you a hairy back, you have to take them."

"Wow," Deacon replied. "This must be like the stuff they say really fast at the end of the drug commercial after they've told you all the great stuff that new little pill is going to do for you."

"You'll figure it out. Remember, if you didn't get this liver, you were going to die, so that helps keep it in perspective."

Dr. Andrews stood up. "I'm headed back up to my office, but if you have any questions at all, call my service and I can come back down. We want to keep you one more day to check blood work, but I'll plan to have discharge papers ready for you tomorrow after rounds if everything looks okay."

"Thanks, Sarah," Rayna said. "And we do appreciate you being frank with us and of course we're very glad we've made it this far."

Rayna walked to the door with the doctor, pausing after they left Deacon's room.

"Keep an eye on him, Rayna," Dr. Andrews said. "It can be a shock to transplant patients, first that they feel well again, but then as they begin to understand the limitations that the transplant may cause. Right now we've got him on high doses of all those medications and I hope we can reduce that, but he may not feel like himself for a while. And that can be hard to take."

Rayna nodded. "Deacon doesn't do all that well at sick."

Sarah patted her arm. "Not a lot of men do."

TBC


	9. Chapter 8

Rayna headed home from her meeting with Bucky. She could have just had it at the house, but honestly, she needed to get out. Deacon had been home from the hospital for two weeks, and although he was getting better, he had been very ornery. That morning she told him she was going to meet Bucky and that he needed to take a shower and call Scarlett to come take him up to the hospital for his blood test.

Of course she had called Scarlett ten minutes earlier to ask if she wouldn't mind picking up her uncle and Scarlett was happy to do it. But Deacon didn't need to know that. Instead she wanted to see if he would take the initiative to do anything for himself.

She had tried to talk to Tandy about it, but couldn't seem to find the right words. It wasn't that Deacon was helpless or acting helpless, but he just had no drive. No fire. No will.

She pulled into the driveway and got out of her car. No sign of Scarlett, so either Deacon had refused to make plans with her or they were still at the appointment. She figured it was 50/50 either way.

She walked into the kitchen and was pleased to be met with silence. There was a note on the counter in Deacon's nearly illegible scribble saying that they were going to the appointment and then to have lunch with Gunnar.

Rayna looked around the quiet house and thought about her conversation with Bucky that morning. He had asked when she was going to be ready to rebook the tour. She didn't have an answer for him yet. She just didn't know what the future was going to hold.

"Hey."

Rayna turned around to find Deacon standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

"Hey," she replied, a smile crossing her face. He looked like Deacon-his denim shirt hugging his body. He was still thin, but he had lost the sheen of illness that had hung over him before the transplant. "How was lunch?"

"Nice, good to be out amongst the living again. Scarlett took me to the Southern. I've definitely missed their shrimp and grits."

"Mmmm," Rayna replied. "We definitely need a date night down there before too long-maybe in one of those curved booths in the corner, so we can do some hand holding under the table."

"Maybe so," Deacon responded. "Doc said things look good. She's willing to back off on the steroids. Said it should make me feel a little more like myself. But the other…" His voice trailed off as he turned and hurried from the room.

"Deacon?" she called out as he headed for the steps and up to their room. She followed him, into the room and then the bath. "Babe?"

Deacon pushed the door closed before she could get there. "Just go away, Rayna. I'm fine...I'm just...just go away."

She stepped back from the door and went into their room and sat on the bed. She waited for a few minutes, then when the shower went on, she slid off her shoes and lay down on the bed. When the door opened, she sat up.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked.

Deacon shook his head, the towel wrapped around his waist. She could still see every rib on his body. She patted the bed and he sat down next to her.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Grits didn't agree with me," he replied, his head bowed down.

She slid her hand up to rub along his neck and shoulders. "It's just the medication, Deacon."

His eyes still down cast, he tipped his head to look at her. "I hate this, Ray. I still feel so...I feel so incapacitated and I don't want you and Scarlett and Maddie and Daphne taking care of me."

Rayna slid her arm down so it was around his waist and pulled him close to her. "But do you realize what that's meant-having to take care of you and everything?"

Deacon looked over at her and shrugged.

"Deacon, you've looked out for me and for our family for as long as I can remember...which as we know isn't all that long, but you have always been there. You nursed me back to life after our accident and you gave me my family again. You did that. And I love you for it, but it's been hard for me, not knowing for sure if I could do it on my own and I didn't want to, cause I never want to be without you.

"Except these past few months and especially now, since the surgery, I've been the one who has had to take care of things, of our family and you. And I wish that we had never had this happen to us, but I love that I'm able to do this for you...for us.

"You are a terrible patient, Deacon Claybourne, but you're allowed. For one more week. And then we have some things to decide about," Rayna finished.

"Such as?" Deacon asked.

Rayna smiled at him. "Such as the tour...do I go out with you as my band leader and we play the stuff from the album we dropped last year or…"

"Or?" Deacon asked.

"Or do we go back into the studio, write and record something completely new and we go out together. Like we planned to in the old days before all this other stuff happened."

Deacon rubbed his hand across his face, then turned and smiled at her. "I think I'd like to do that, Ray. I mean, I love making music with you. Nothin's ever been better than that."

Rayna nodded. "Okay, then pack your bags. Teddy and the girls are going out to California to see his mom for her birthday and we're going to the cabin. You need a guitar and a bunch of charts. I told Bucky we'd be ready for the studio in two weeks."

Deacon shook his head at her. "I don't think you're supposed to put me under any undue stress during my recovery."

Rayna leaned in and kissed him. "You'll be fine."

* * *

><p>Rayna lifted the last box from the back of the Escalade as Deacon watched.<p>

"You should have let me take that little one," he chided her.

She shook her head and shifted the box of groceries to get a better hold on it. "You are not supposed to lift more than five pounds and there was nothing in here that was less than five pounds. Go hold that door for me. This is actually pretty heavy."

Deacon walked ahead of her and held open the door. She went past him and straight into the kitchen where she set the box on the counter. "What you can do is rub my back after I get everything where it needs to be."

Deacon walked up behind her and slid his arms around her. "If it doesn't strain me too much, I'm happy to do that." He pulled her around so that she was facing him and leaned in to kiss her. "Might be something else I can do for you, later, if it doesn't strain me too much."

Rayna laughed and leaned in to kiss him a second time. "Think you've reached that stage of your recovery, do you?"

"I don't remember relations being strictly prohibited by the doctor," Deacon replied.

Rayna pushed past him and went to put the cans of food in the cupboard. "Oh, you asked Dr. Andrews about that?"

"She said that if I felt up to it, then there was no reason not to."

"And does this mean…" Rayna started.

"That if I take a nap this afternoon, I might just be feeling up to it later today," Deacon explained.

"In that case," Rayna said, "why don't you at least walk down to the lake for some exercise and then you can have your nap, but you should also remember that we're here to work."

"So, you don't want any special time?" Deacon teased.

Rayna shook her head. "Just go take your walk."

As Deacon headed out the door, she smiled. She had wondered at what point he might be interested in being intimate again. She knew that he was self-conscious about the scar-he'd been closing the door between the bedroom and bath each night when he got ready, sleeping in shorts and a t-shirt every night in a way that was very unDeacon.

Maybe being at the cabin was just the change in scenery they both needed.

TBC


	10. Chapter 9

Rayna walked into their bedroom that night to find Deacon sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to the door, clothed in his usual t-shirt and shorts. It had been a good day. They'd worked on lyrics to a couple of songs and were starting to work out melodies and charts for them.

"Loved writing with you, today," Rayna said as she climbed on the bed and crawled over to him on her knees. She leaned in and kissed the soft skin on the back of his neck. "You still have anything left for me?"

Deacon turned, so he was half facing her. "You use me for my musical talents and now you want me for my body?" he teased.

She kissed him again, this time on the lips and more deeply. "That's exactly what I plan to do."

Her fingers slid down to the edge of his t-shirt and she began to lift it up. He put his hand over hers.

"Deacon," she started, then stopped as he held her hand as they pulled the shirt off together. It went over his head and she tossed it onto the bed next to them.

Her fingers traced down from the hollows of his shoulder to the red scar, an upside down "Y" from his breast bone across his abdomen. It puckered a bit at one end.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Not really. Feels kind of weird, like the sensation is off."

She held out her hand, encouraging him to join her on the bed. He laid down and she slipped her right leg over his. She untied the silk robe she had been wearing and he reached up to touch her bare skin.

"I don't want to hurt you," she said.

Deacon shrugged. "Go easy. I'll tell you if you need to stop."

She slid back, her hands working down his shorts until finally they were completely free of all the clothing that had been between them.

She ran her hands across his skin again, down his chest. "You're beautiful, Deacon."

He pulled her back down to him, his hands covering her soft skin.

"It's been a while, but I remember we were pretty good at this," he teased.

She slid up against him. "No more talking, Deacon."

* * *

><p>The next morning Rayna woke up to find Deacon laying next to her, his eyes open, looking up at the ceiling.<p>

"Sleep well?" she asked.

"Better than I have in months," he replied. He rolled onto his side, grimacing slightly as muscles pulled across his still tender abdomen. "So, you really think we can pull this off?"

Rayna rolled on her side facing him. "Pull what off?"

"A new album. Going on the road together. Deacon Claybourne and Rayna Jaymes."

"I absolutely think we can do that, I mean, except for one thing…"

"What's that?" Deacon asked.

Rayna sat up and reached for her robe at the foot of the bed. "Pretty sure that's Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne."

"You want to wrestle for that?" Deacon challenged.

She looked over him and laughed. "Oh, absolutely, I mean, other than I'd break you and we'd have to wait another year to go out on the road."

* * *

><p>"What're you working on?" Rayna asked as she came out of the porch.<p>

Deacon slid the notebook over to her. "Some lyrics. I have this idea, about being like new, just need to work some of the kinks out."

_I'm praying for a tree to grow a dollar  
><em>_I'm hoping for a cold california summer  
><em>_I'm wishing for a heart that ain't broken in two  
><em>_And I'll be just like new_

_When the sun stops shining  
><em>_When the liars quit lying  
><em>_When I finally face the truth  
><em>_I'll be pushing up roses  
><em>_When I start getting over you  
><em>_And I'll be just like new_

"It's a little dark," she said, reading down the lines.

"Well, it's just a song, Ray. It's not my life's story, not really. And I have a catchy melody for it." He picked up the guitar and started strumming. After a line she joined in.

"Ah, yes-that's great," Rayna replied. "But let's try that other one, _Keep Coming Back_."

Deacon nodded and adjusted the capo on the guitar.

_Distance don't mean a thing.  
>I come when you pull the strings.<br>The strings of my heart.  
>Wherever you are.<br>Just pull, tug, tease_

_I'll keep coming back_  
><em>Ohh It's true<em>  
><em>I keep coming back<em>  
><em>That's what I do<em>  
><em>I retrace my tracks, to you.<em>

Rayna sighed. "It's perfect, Deacon."

"Okay, cause if these two work, then I think we need to call Bucky and get back into the studio and get this stuff down."

Rayna nodded. It was time for both of them.

* * *

><p>8 Weeks Later<p>

"So, you ready for this?" Deacon asked as they stood at the edge of the stage in Barclay Center.

"It's so big," Rayna said as they looked up into the sea of dark, empty seats in the stadium.

"We used to have a way of dealin' with that," Deacon replied. "C'mon."

He led her down the steps from the stage and across the floor. Pulling a little flashlight out, he led them up the steps through the first tier of seats, to the mezzanine seats and finally to the balcony.

"Lordy," Deacon panted as they sat down. "That used to be easier."

"I'm thinkin' we used to be younger," Rayna replied. "And in better shape."

Deacon laughed, then leaned forward over the short wall in front of their seats. "No, we used to come up here and look down, talk about the folks that would be sittin' up here, realize that we needed to play a show that meant as much to them as to the folks lining the stage on the floor."

He looked over at Rayna. "You know, I'd been thinkin' a long time about us comin' up here before your first show back."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah. I mean, out here, doin' this-that's when I knew I would never not love you, Ray. And I never stopped. I mean, I can say that now, but all those years, the ones that are gone for you now, I was there, standin' as close as I could, lovin' you with my whole heart, wantin' to say it and then when I thought we would finally have that chance, you were gone and I just wasn't sure we could get that back, that you would know me again."

Rayna leaned her head against his shoulder, taking his hand in hers.

"And then, you became you again, and that love, it was back and then...and then I got sick and it seemed like this cruel fate that was gonna keep us apart and maybe I should have had more faith then and just forged ahead, but I'm not a person who a lot of good things happen to, so I didn't have that faith."

Rayna's hand still in his right hand, he slid his left hand into his jeans and pulled it out, a simple silver ring in his hand.

"I should have given this back to you a long time ago, but I needed to know for sure that I could keep my promises to you."

He slid the ring onto her left hand. "Will you be mine, Rayna, forever…"

She looked down at the ring, so small, so perfect on her hand, then turned to him. "Forever, Deacon."

* * *

><p>As the crowd stamped the floor, cheering and demanding that they come back on stage with shouts of names of her old hits, Rayna leaned over the kissed Deacon one more time.<p>

"Okay, should we give them what they're asking for?" she said as she smiled.

"Gotta keep the customer satisfied," he replied.

They headed back onto the stage with the rest of the band. Rayna walked up and took the mike and held her hand up.

"We're just so grateful to be here with y'all tonight. I think you know that it's been a long time gettin' back out here on the road and this stage and with these amazing musicians. Deacon and I, we could not have done it without your love and support." She looked back at Deacon as he nodded.

"This is where we started...with music and Deacon and a lot of stuff has happened since then, but we've got the love and we've got each other and our family."

Deacon began to strum his guitar as Rayna pulled the microphone up to her mouth.

_Don't you try to tell me someone's waiting.  
><em>_They're not waiting for you.  
><em>_Oh and don't you try to tell me that you're wanted.  
><em>_That you're needed.  
><em>_Cause it's not true.  
><em>_I know why you're lonely.  
><em>_It's time you knew it too.  
><em>_No one will ever love you, no one will ever love you.  
><em>_No one will ever love you like I do._

Deacon stepped up and joined her.

_Why you always looking for the limelight?  
><em>_Ain't you satisfied with me?  
><em>_For once why don't you get down off your high heels,  
><em>_you're no big deal.  
><em>_Can't you see? I know why you're lonely.  
><em>_It's time you knew it too.  
><em>_No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you.  
><em>_No one will ever love you like I do.  
><em>_I'm all you got.  
><em>_I'm all you'll ever need.  
><em>_I'm all you'll ever have._

As the last notes finished, the crowd jumped up, their voices echoing throughout the arena.

Rayna leaned in. "I'm thinking they like us."

Deacon smiled and shook his head. "Always one to understate it, Ray."

She smiled back at him, her finger running across the slim band she hadn't taken off since he gave it to her. Tonight was a beginning in more ways than one.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note: Thanks so much for joining me in reading this story. I have loved all the reviews and want to thank Beth Pryor again for helping me get it right. There is an epilogue, which is actually written. I'm enjoying a couple of snow days, so should have it posted later today or tonight.<em>


	11. Epilogue

Rayna sat at the counter in her dressing room and reached for the brush to put on her eye make-up.

"You look so pretty."

She turned to find Maddie standing behind her, dressed in a beautiful soft blue dress.

"C'mere girl," she invited her daughter over next to her. Maddie squeezed onto the small bench and leaned into her mother as Rayna slipped her arm around her.

"I can't believe this is happening," Maddie said. "We have our family and all the things…"

"A life that's good?" Rayna asked.

Maddie laughed. "That's a little cheesy, but yeah, Mom...a life that's good."

Rayna reached for her lipstick. "Okay, go make sure your sister is ready and then check on Deacon. I know he has Scarlett with him, but just make sure…"

"I got it, Mom," Maddie said as she stood up.

Rayna carefully finished her make-up and then went to the dressing room to slip into the simple white dress she had bought with the girls' help.

"You need any help with that?"

She turned again, this time to find her sister standing there.

Rayna nodded and Tandy came over and help her slip the dress over her head.

"You look gorgeous, Ray."

"Thanks," Rayna replied. "It's been a long time, coming."

Tandy nodded.

"You two ready in there?"

They looked up to find Lamar standing in the door.

"Never thought I'd be here with the two of you, while I'm gettin' ready to marry Deacon," Rayna said, reaching her arms out to her sister and father.

"Life has a funny way of doing that," Lamar replied. "Okay, let's get down to this wedding. You've got a bunch of people there who've been waiting a long time for this."

* * *

><p>As Rayna walked forward across the yard, her arm slipped in her dad's, she couldn't help but smile at Deacon. He looked like he was going to burst with joy.<p>

The girls were standing up there with them as well. Teddy, in his role as mayor, had offered to officiate. She'd made sure that Deacon was okay with that, but in the past couple of years, they had all become much more of a family of friends.

As she reached Deacon, she held her hands out to him and he took her smaller ones in his calloused hands, strong from years of honing his craft on the guitar.

The words flowed around them, she found that she could barely focus on anything than looking in Deacon's eyes, the small upturn of his mouth tempting her into a smile as well.

"Ray," Deacon began when it came time for the vows. "I know I've told you a bunch of times, but I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, that night that Watty introduced us. And there's been a lot of years since then and a bunch of stuff has happened-some good, a lot bad, but through it all, I loved you.

"I can't believe how lucky I am, that we survived all of that, that we're still here and I can make this promise to be yours forever."

She smiled at him and looked down at the small sheet of paper she'd clutched in her hand.

"I think most of you know, but I don't remember that night, but what I do remember and what I woke up remembering was this amazing love I had for this man. It was in me and it made me trust him even when I wasn't sure why I could.

"Deacon, I love you for being patient, for helping me become myself again and for bringing me back to my family. And most recently, I love you for working so hard to make sure you stayed a part of our life and family as well.

"I know this ring you gave me, the one we're going to make vows on has a big back story and I will be happy to have you tell me it every night for the rest of our lives, but the part I remember is your promise to me and the girls and that's all I really need."

Teddy quickly pronounced them married and Deacon and Rayna pulled close, their kiss expressing the intensity of their love.

They turned to face the group of family and friends that had joined them, held out their hands to Daphne and Maddie and pulled them into a family hug.

And as Rayna looked out the faces of her family, she realized, it wasn't the parts she remembered any longer. It was the memories that they were about to make.

FIN

_Thank you everyone...hope you've enjoyed the story. I don't know that I'll continue this universe, but it's been fun exploring the recent show events from a slightly different angle._


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